When is the last time you remember counting to ten before doing something? Does just the thought of that moment stir memories in you? Keep that memory in mind as you read on.

As a young girl growing up in New England, I loved swimming in any body of water in the summer time. Of course, even in the summer in New England, the water stays pretty cold, and jumping in meant my lips would turn blue pretty quickly as I protested to my sisters through chattering teeth that I wasn’t cold. I had a game I played when I needed to prod myself to jump into what I knew was cold (ok, freezing!) water; I would count to ten, and by the time I reached ten, I’d have to jump in. It always worked (I’d jump in), and once in and acclimated to the water temperature, I’d start to feel less cold and more comfortable. It was then I turned into a fish, and good luck getting me out of the water!

This memory came back to me recently as I was struggling with coming to terms with a decision I needed to make that I knew would bring upheaval into my life. No matter how I tried to distract myself, the situation pawed at me for attention. As I struggled, a thought so clear struck me. I started to think of my story above and realized that in running from the truth (the water), I was refusing to “count to ten”. But no matter how I tried to avoid it, the water (truth) stayed right where it was, waiting for me to jump in. The pain I was feeling was actually from the refusal to count to ten, not the water itself. Clarity came as I used the lessons I’d learned about jumping into the water all those years ago:

1. The water (truth) would be waiting for me, no matter when I decided to jump in.

2. The water (truth) was going to stay cold, until I jumped in and allowed myself to acclimate to it.

3. The pain of my refusal to count to ten and jump into the water (truth) was actually worse than the pain of jumping into it.

4. Once in the water (truth), I could “swim like a fish” once I got used to it.

What a relief it has been since I’ve jumped in. While some of the conversations were difficult, nothing compared to the energy I had to use to keep the truth at bay. Now I embrace the truth, I feel it, speak it and do my best to jump right into it, even if, sometimes, I have to count to ten first to get myself to do it! What I have learned in this process is that by counting to ten and by jumping into the truth, I have become authentic. I have become real.

In the story The Velveteen Rabbit , a children’s novel written by Margery Williams, I love the lesson provided by the following dialogue:

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the
nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. …

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you.
When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you,
then you become Real.”

I propose that when you love yourself (ie, love that little girl inside of you) for a very long time, and not just to play with, but really love, you will not only become “real”, but you’ll be jumping into pools before you even get to ten, and then, well…..you will be swimming like a fish! My prayer for you is that you will be both blessed and challenged as you become open to the truth around you and in you.

I’m in the pool already. What are you waiting for? What’s holding you back? Count to ten…

Blessings,

Cynthia

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32